Being a woman is fucking confusing

Period Diary / Entry 1

by: Ainsley Hutchence

10 Photos
Words: Ainsley Hutchence S&S / Photographer: Hunter Blue / Photographer: James Beddoes / Photographer: Justin Markin / Photographer: Megan-Magdalena Bourne / Photographer: William Beauplant

Being a woman is fucking confusing

Is it just me or is being a woman super fucking confusing? Hey, it’s me, Ains, creative director/founder of Sticks & Stones. Right on cue, my period turned up today to celebrate International Women’s Day with me. Usually, this time each month I write something up here, set it to draft & never actually get round to publishing it. My energy healer (I know those last 3 words might deter people from reading on, lol) recently told me this is the time to really listen to myself. This is my truth. Despite being told otherwise my whole life via ex-partners & 90s sitcoms, pre-period feelings are valid & useful after all. So here goes, I promise I will start pressing publish from here on out just in case any of you benefit from reading about shit that pisses me off at this rather volatile time of my cycle. Fuck it, let’s just call this my period diary. See you again this time next month 🙂 Thank you for being here!

Life as a woman can be very confusing. You are told by almost everyone you date at one point that you shouldn’t go out in that. Your top is too see-through, your skirt too short, your cleavage too much. You almost always listen to them & begrudgingly get dressed, aggressively sifting through your wardrobe for a more “appropriate” outfit, tears streaming down your face, heart breaking slowly as you think about the words he didn’t say. The ones you would have preferred to hear after spending the last 1.75 hours shaving, plucking, washing, drying, straightening, steaming, brushing, blushing – “God, you’re beautiful”. You leave the house once your partner is happy with your outfit choice but spend the rest of the night in your head wondering why you let him dictate decisions about YOUR  body, again. A week later he is out with the boys at the strip club basking in the glory of female sexuality.

Your society teaches you that women have to earn their place & value through their beauty so you spend copious amounts of money on beauty treatments, makeup, injectables & doing whatever it takes to live up to this idea of the perfect woman shoved down your throat in almost every direction you turn. You have to be careful not to overdo it though,  you will be ridiculed for that too!

Don’t act young, it’s annoying. Don’t get old, it’s unattractive. Be a “cool girl” & have threesomes with your man. Not with other men silly, that would be uncomfortable for him, strictly women only. You can have your period, that’s not offensive & disgusting anymore, phew. Just suck it up & don’t complain & don’t bother expressing your feelings during this time, they are invalid. Don’t bottle shit up & explode later. Have babies. Have a career. Be sexy. Not too sexy! Stand up for yourself. Don’t be a bitch. Wear makeup. Look natural. Don’t let yourself go. Don’t be vain. Dress well. Stop spending money. Be a boss. Stop being bossy.

This International Women’s Day I just wanted to say a quick “FUCK THAT!” Life is way too short to let the insecurities of others & the profit margins of capitalism determine how we feel & express ourselves. Time to start listening to what feels right for you. Time to unleash the beautiful, unpredictable, sexy, irresistible, natural goddess that is lurking on the inside, desperate to come out, whatever that looks like on the outside… hairy, smooth, big, small, tall, short, dark, light, gay, straight, trans, young, old. God, you’re beautiful!

Ains x

All images & many more featured in Sticks & Stones Mothership hardcover book – Shelflife Vol.1 the “hair” issue available here.

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1 Comments

  1. Love this!

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