Sticks & Stones Shitty Interview No.100

Christian Wilkins & Andy Kelly

by: Ainsley Hutchence

18 Illustrated answers & photos
Interviewer: Sticks and Stones / Interviewee: Christian Wilkins / Interviewee: Andy Kelly

Sticks & Stones Shitty Interview No.100

Its No.100! We knew we needed to use this Shitty Interview for someone special. Two special people actually; my friends & fellow Australian creatives Christian Wilkins & Andy Kelly. “Just a Couple’a Showgirls!”

The first time we featured Christian & Andy together (almost 1.5 years ago), they had just announced their incredibly entertaining podcast RADICAL FASHIONISM (new episode now live), where they explore what it means to love fashion while attempting to figure out how culture shapes couture & its place in society.

Since then, the pair almost won an ACRA for their podcast which had addicted fans feasting on a banquet of celebrity guests like Kelly Rowland & Boy George & innovators in their creative fields like Tattoo artist Lauren Winzer. Between podcasting, Andy moved his operations from Sydney to Melbourne where he continues to hustle a diverse range of epic creative projects & Christian quit his marketing job at channel 9 & can be seen dancing on national television every Sunday in Ten’s ‘Dancing With The Stars’ while he continues to fight the urge for cheese on his relatively new Vegan diet.

Keep your eyes on RADICAL FASHIONISM for new episodes & be sure to vote for Christian on Tens ‘Dancing With The Stars’! But for now, sit back, relax & enjoy Sticks & Stones Shitty Interview No.100 with Christian Wilkins & Andy Kelly.

Sticks & Stones: Favourite day of the week?
Christian: Saturday – cause I’m a GHG (good healthy girl) & get to go to my bougie gay gym then Potts Point Harris Farm where I wanna have my ashes scattered.
Andy: Monday – Because we are all united in our hatred of it. It’s something we all agree about.

Sticks & Stones: If you were shrunk down into a tiny version of yourself for a day like in that movie ‘Honey I shrunk The Kids’ what would you do?
Christian: I have many a social anxiety, so probs stay in bed & eat cause like a choccy bar would last all day. Shit yea! Orrrr up a bum.
Andy: Straight up the anus.

Sticks & Stones: If you had to chose between having a huge dick & no arms & a huge dick & no legs what would you choose? 
Christian: FML. Just kill moi. Also, wtf does the massive doodle have to do with it? & like duh no legs cause you have the doods to prop you up.
Andy: Bitch, I don’t need to choose, I got a huge dick & arms & legs. Also, don’t tell us what to do, you’re not our real dad, you don’t live at our house.

Sticks & Stones: Favourite tattoo? 
Christian: I no have one but want a My Lil Pony in S&M gear.
Andy: I have one on my arm that says “I am happy”. It’s good for bad days (see illustration).

Sticks & Stones: 5 things you fuck with rn?
Christian: 1-Poppers. 2-Chinese broccoli. 3-Bernie bro’s getting theirs. 4-Pina Coladas. 5-The fucking episode of Grey’s anatomy with the bomb.
Andy: 1-Stealing from Woolies. 2-Doing stuff that feels good. 3-Bread. 4-Responding to negativity with complete indifference. 5-Skydancers (look em up).

Sticks & Stones: What vegetable best represents you & why?
Christian: Aubergine – has a glam sheen, delicious inside, seedy.
Andy: Don’t eat em, yuck! (They are bad for you). Maybe potatoes? Is butter a carb? What’s Amyl made of?

Sticks & Stones: What do you believe in?
Christian: Love. Lame but like true/cute.
Andy: I believe in doing the best I can. God is love, but can’t expect her to drop everything when you fall. She’s busy. You gotta get on. So if you hook a hose up to your exhaust pipe, don’t expect to wake up with toast for breakfast. Help each other. Help yourself. Buy some skates & be your own hero.

Sticks & Stones: Best thing about being you?
Christian: Having a voice to talk about issues & like good hair & two pools.
Andy: That I have at least four people who love that person – even if sometimes I don’t. Also, I can say the word ‘Faggot’ as much as I want.

Sticks & Stones: Favourite creative project to date?
Christian: ‘Dancing With The Stars’ & moi.
Andy: Podcast – ‘Radical Fashionism’. It lets me redefine myself. Plus, I met Kelly Rolland – so blow that up your arse.

Sticks & Stones: You have $30 to spend on groceries for the week, what do you buy?
Christian: Lip balm, Chinese broc, siracha, protein bars.
Andy: Uber Eats.

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